Small Towns

Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.
Those who didn't will be in disbelief and won't understand how true it is.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a
dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of
the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party
was busted. (See #6.)

4) You used to'drag'Main .

5) You whispered the 'F' word and your parents knew within the hour.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers,
because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old
you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.)
Besides, where would you get the money?

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes,
you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke
them.

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer
dropped off.

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references.
Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anderson 's, and it's four houses
left of the track field.

13) The golf course had only 9 holes.

14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own
a dark vehicle for this reason.

16) The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was
actually just like your town.

17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1955 as the 'rich'
people.

18) The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up the
trend 2 years later.

19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairy
bar.

20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one
of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.

23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull
over and ask if you wanted a ride.

24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.

25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.

26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

27) There was no McDonalds.

28) The closest mall was over an hour away.

29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn
mower.

30) You've pee'd in a cornfield.

31) Most people went by a nickname.

What NOT to give her for Valentines Day

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
2. Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on the Victoria's Secret model.
3. Any clothing item with the words "push-up" or "slim-down" on the label.
4. Any food item with the words "diet", "light", or "high fiber" on the label.
5. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Jim Carrey, or Angelina Jolie.
6. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a mortuary's.
7. Poetry, no matter how heartfelt, that starts out "There was once a girl from Nantucket..."
8. Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
9. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
10. A gift certificate.
11. Cash.
12. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.
13. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"