My Hospital visit Retold...

So as you read before I had a stint in the hospital, now I would like to give you my account of how I saw it….
So I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That’s a nice relaxing drive. *whistling a tune* Noooo, after you. Merge, everybody merge. I’m only imploding.
So I pull up at the entrance to the Emergency Room. No valet parking. I mean, if that’s not the biggest oversight in our solar system… if there’s ever a time when you want to go, “can you park this because I need to collapse immediately?” But no, I’m circling around the parking lot trying to find a spot. “Can I park there, I think I’m gonna die?” “I’m dying too.” “OK, go ahead. I’ll go up a couple levels.” Unbelievable. I don’t care if you’re driving yourself or someone else to the Emergency Room, you still want to get out and run in with them. Are you supposed to drop somebody off and go park the car? “OK, you go in! Tell them you’re SHOT! Ask them if they validate!” Unbelievable.
So I finally park, you know. I go in to check in. They ask the most insulting question when you check into a hospital. “What seems to be the problem?” “What seems… ? Well it seems… it seems like everything in all my inside wants to be on my outside. But I’m no doctor.” What kind of condescending question…
So they check me in to my luxurious half room. There’s a curtain down the middle with a mystery patient on the other side. And he’s moaning over there. I’m thinking, “man, they’re never going to help me with him moaning like that.” So I gotta out-moan him, you know? “Quit moaning! We’re all hurting!”
So I’m killing time writhing. The nurse finally comes in. “How are you doing tonight?” “I’m on a gurney. Do you have a pain-killer or something? This is killing me.” So she goes, “how would you describe your pain?” *pause* “It’s killing me. I don’t know if you remember that part. Ouch.” What, are we playing that pyramid game? “Um. Excruciating… Horrific… Would rather have shards of glass in my eye…. How do I convey this to you?”
So she asks, “how would you rate your pain?” “Four stars! Two enthusiastic thumbs up!” She goes, “how would you rate it on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst?” Well, you know saying a low number isn’t going to help you. “Oh, I’m a two… maybe the high one’s. If you could get me a baby aspirin and cut it in half, maybe a Flinstone vitamin and I’ll be out of your hair. You can go tend to all the threes and fours and such, if anyone’s saying such ridiculous numbers.”
So I said, “I guess I’m an eight.” She goes, “OK, I’ll be back.” I’m like, “aw, I blew it. I ain’t getting nothing with eight.” But she surprised me, she comes in, she told me, “the doctor told me to give you morphine immediately.” So then I’m like, “morphine?? That’s the stuff they gave the guy in Saving Private Ryan just before he died… OK, I’m a four… I’m a zero, I’m a negative eleventeen.” So they gave me morphine. Wow, all I know is about fifteen minutes later, just for the heck of it, I was like, “I’m an eight again! Guess who’s an eight?”

hospital Stay

As most of you know by now, I was in the hospital the first week of August. If you missed the broadcast of it, here is what was said,

"Hi everybody,

I just wanted to let you know that Jarrod is in the hospital in Knoxville.
He had a tachycardia on Monday and then another one on Tuesday early
morning. His heart rate was up to 206 and was up for about 32 hours
straight and they couldn't stop it. This is in addition to fever, aches and
throwing up over 24 hours straight.

After trying many medications, they did a last resort of shocking him to put
his rhythm back into place. That only lasted temporarily. Then that's when
they transferred him to the cardiac center at the hospital we are at in
Knoxville. They took him by ambulance.

They are changing medications to keep it consistent and not have it take off
again. At this point, we are waiting to see how the new medication works."

It was supposed to be a great week of vacation, but I guess it is never boring when you go somewhere with me; have to make those memories. Many asked why I waited so long to go to the ER, and all I can say is that I have not had the best experience with ER's. There is usually come quack Dr who thinks he can cure what 36 years of the world's best haven't been able to cure yet, or they look at me and think, "oh, textbook case".
But God was in control and gave me some great medical staff at the ER who actually listened to me and did what I asked and didn't try to cure me, but stabilize me. Then I was taken by ambulance to Knoxville, TN where I had some of the best care I have ever had in a long time; and believe me, I know hospitals.
I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and calls and those who came to visit me. It is greatly appreciated.


Looking to share a great testimony for God,
Pastor J