The $50 Lesson

I recently asked my friends' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? '

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.. '

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ' Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? '

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me..

Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old
Wyoming rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate
while working cattle, the doctor struck up a
conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic
got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a
'post turtle'.' Not being familiar with the term, the
doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old
rancher said, 'When you're driving down a country
road and you come across a fence post with a
turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.'

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's
face, so he continued to explain. 'You know he
didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up
there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up
there, and you just wonder what kind of an IDIOT
put him up there!.''