BUREAUCRACY IN ACTION

1. Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the Banana.

2. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result--all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

3. Turn off the cold water. If later another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them.

4. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

6. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

7. After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?

"BECAUSE that's the way it's always been done around here."

The cowyboy and the church

I read an interesting article the other day, it went like this:

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.

The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. "Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship."

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored.

The preacher approached the man and said, "I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church."

"I did," replied the old cowboy.

"If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?" asked the preacher.

"Well, sir, God told me that He didn't have a clue what I should wear. He said He'd never been in here before."

What are your thots? Have you been in a church like this? Is your church like this? Are YOU the church in this story?

Local Bar Sues Church

In a small Texas town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.  The local Baptist church started a campaign of petitions and prayers to block the bar from opening.

Work progressed, however right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.

 The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.  The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.

 As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork.  At the hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't."

Preaching or Meddlin' ?

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher.

When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!"

When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!"

And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS...AMEN!"

But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, "He's quit preaching and now he's meddlin'."

The Elephant Man

We were in church the other Sunday waiting for the service to start when I noticed something in the front of the church between the stage and the pews!  It was big and it was blocking the view of most of the pulpit and stage area.  It was an ELEPHANT!!!  I was excited because I was sure this mornings sermon was going to be great with a "prop" like that in the church.  I usually use props when I speak in church, but nothing like this!  I noticed a few families had a hard time sitting together with the elephant in the church.

The minister of music got up and started to lead us in chorus, it was hard to see him or even focus on the music as the elephant was right there in the midst of everything, but still my excitement was growing.  The greeting was difficult to do, as many couldn't get to others with the elephant in the way.  The offering came and a few people had a hard time giving with the elephant being there and in the way, but some managed. 

Then the part I waited for was up, the Pastor got up to give the sermon, It was hard to see him with the elephant there, but I was not going to miss how he was going to use this prop....

The sermon ended and the prayer was said, an invitation was given, but not many came with the elephant up there blocking their way to the altar.  The service ended, and people were getting up to leave and no one mentioned the elephant!

I couldn't believe it!  As I stared at it, I noticed something, most people were oblivious to it.  They just walked around it, side stepped it, or just plain ignored it like it wasn't even there.

How could they sit through an entire church service and not see the elephant in front of their faces.  I touched one member on the arm and asked him about the elephant, he said, "oh, it's been there for years, most people just ignore it, hoping it will go away".

I asked him what about not being able to see the preacher or get to the altar and he just shrugged and said, most of us just don't think about it I guess.  If you can't see, just get up and move, he suggested.

"But there is STILL an elephant in the church", I said.  He just laughed and said, "what are you, the elephant man?  Just let it go, in a few weeks, you'll hardly notice it."

But I do notice it and always will notice an elephant in my church.  Why is it that so many members are scared to say that there is an elephant in the church, blocking their worship, their fellowship with the Pastor or other members of the church?  Why doesn't anyone get up and remove the elephant?  I guess no one wants to be called the "Elephant Man"....

But I will not rest until the elephant is gone, and my worship and fellowship is restored in my church.  

Until then, call me the Elephant Man